For the Booty Challenged

So you know that moment when you think to yourself "Wow, I feel good, I look good, I am doing really great." For me this came shortly after I had my first child. I figured I had lost A LOT of weight in the first few weeks, I mean, it sure felt like it. And then, there was that next moment, we'll call it an epiphany of sorts. I'm sure most of us have had this moment, at least those of us who didn't leave all the pregnancy craving pounds in the hospital. It's that moment where you see a picture of yourself. Mmm hmm. And in that moment your jaw drops, your heart sinks, and you are pretty darn sure you can make a liposuction attachment for your vacuum. This was THAT picture for me...



oh. my. goodness. I figured if there was ever a picture of anyone anywhere that resembled a beached whale, THAT was it. And sadly, I listened to all those rumors that breast feeding makes weight "fall right off." So I waited. And waited. Nope, nothing fell off. Not even a little. And then I found out I was pregnant again. How on earth did that happen?

To the point anyways. I decided as soon as I was allowed after my son was born I would join Weight Watchers. You know, seeing as how pregnancy weight doesn't tend to fall off me like it is "supposed to." So I did. And I loved it. I learned how to eat well and take care of myself (because us mom's don't do well with that). And no, I didn't starve, not even close. I lost 40 pounds in about 4.5 months. That would fall under the *results not typical column in Weight Watchers. Finally, after like, 3 years I have hip bones! Hooray!

On the downside of this (because I would have to find something to complain about) and to my husbands dismay, wrapped in that 40 pounds was my bum. I had a nice pregnancy bum, well, I actually had a bum while pregnant. My DNA holds no instruction for anything resembling a bum... it's more like a loooong love handle that fades into a hamstring. So my rant as of late? Stretch jeans are NOT for the booty challenged. That's right, "Booty Challenged." I figure that sounds a little more PC. I doubt I am the only woman in the world who faces this problem so perhaps they could make a stretch jean with a little less stretch in the butt? And no, I do not want to buy underwear with a built in bum thankyouverymuch. I suppose my solution will be to spend a little more time with Jillian (Michaels). Perhaps she could make a new dvd workout "30 Days to a Bigger Booty". On second thought, maybe I could just use that liposuction vacuum attachment to give myself a Brazilian butt lift... hmm.



here's my "after" photo (and my elongated love handles)... I just made my poor husband take it...