ok... so remember that post about my bread machine? About how on the regular cycle it made the bread too spongey and poufy and whatever. WELL... shortly after posting it, my brain started to work again. And, yes I am still claiming baby brain. I had 2 kids, 17.5 months apart... I'm lucky that I can still speak in full sentences. So the wheels started turning again. We'll just ignore the fact that it has been almost a year and a half since the first poufy/spongy bread incident and only now did I think to myself "I wonder if I was supposed to use regular yeast." Oh yeah. For real, that NEVER crossed my mind. And, like most of the general public, I do not read instructions well. I just assumed that a bread machine would always use quick rise yeast. Guess not. Good thing I figured out the rapid cycle anyways. And very good that I didn't give the stupid machine that can't make real bread in the right texture away to someone and then have my brain start working and come to this same epiphany. Now that would have sucked.
Confession 2:
While most of my brain has come back, I am still human. I have been trying for a month or two to make buns. Nothing special, just buns. Well, buns that don't make your stomach feel like you swallowed play doh... After making my husband suffer through home made hamburger buns that could choke a donkey, I finally had another bread epiphany. Um, remember that whole second rise thing? And that second rise that takes longer than, say, 20 minutes? Patience is a virtue. Whatever. Anyways, after this epiphany, I let some buns rise. And forgot. And they were nice fluffy, buns, which was exciting. They weren't like hockey pucks... more like softballs. Nice, ginormous softballs. Like, only use half a bun for the burger type buns.
Confession 3:
You know that knot you get in your stomach when you serve dinner to company? Like, what if I totally messed this up! My mess up, that seems to ALWAYS happen is undercooking. I always yell at myself (in my head of course) when I do it. Like, seriously, I have been cooking pretty regularly for almost 6 years now. I should know myself better and know that 5-10 more minutes on whatever I cook would be a really great idea. Sooo I barbecued chicken. Like drumsticks. You know, with bones. I never buy chicken with bones. Are you starting to see all these things working against me? Oh, and of course this was for company. Well, I barbecued for what seemed like forever. There were even drumsticks that had the meat totally pulled away from the bone! So I didn't consider pulling one apart to see if it was done, I mean, if you can see that much of the leg bone they have to be done. Um, no. not quite. They were, uh, close to done. But right at the very inside of the joint, way under all the meat was a red spot. I was mortified. I debated the whole meal if I should apologize and just get it out... instead I sat there, unable to finish my own chicken for fear of death itself, wondered if our company would be up all night puking out of either end, and just wanted to go upstairs and never show my face again. Yeah, that was much better than just mentioning the obvious.
Confession 4:
I like pretty things, who doesn't? For Easter I made Paska, which is just easter bread. It's part of my "pretend I'm a mennonite" theme I've been running with this year. It is a very yummy bread, that smells amazing because it was a whole orange and a whole lemon in it. Anyways, I'm a bit of an overachiever perhaps. I've always looked at braided bread and drooled over how complex it looks. The recipe I had for paska just had you put it into loaf pans, like bread. Pfft, much too simple and boring. SO I went on youtube and found videos of how to braid bread. I knew what I wanted it to look like. Then I found it! A SIX strand braid! I'd never even heard of that! Funny thing is, Easter, as you know, celebrates the death and resurrection of Christ. The braid I did was for Challah bread. So I call it me Easter crossover bread. Well, that sounded a lot funnier in my head. Never mind. But it looks good, right?
Confession 5:
Once upon a time, my mother in law told me her secret to her spaghetti sauce AND her lasagna. Maybe this is something most people do and I am the last one to know but it still rocked my world. You can use spaghetti sauce to make lasagna! Seriously! OK, so maybe it's not the biggest secret, but I had never heard of it. But I finally got the guts to try it. Partially because I have only started making spaghetti sauce in the last year because of a pregnancy craving. Anyways, I made lasagna. It was my first ever tomato lasagna, only once before I had made a chicken, alfredo type one. And let me tell you, it was so stinking good. From one pot of spaghetti sauce I made 2 lasagna's and have enough left over for a spaghetti dinner. Cool right? Ok, I know, that wasn't exciting for you, but it was for me. So here's the real confession. As stated, this was my second go at lasagna ever. And the other time was years ago. I could not for the life of me remember how many noodles you really need for lasagna... So not only did I cook the whole box, I cooked it in a small pot. Because, you know, my sauce was in the big one... Apparently half a box would have been plenty.
Confession 6:
You should always listen to that voice in your head. I mean the one that warns you what your doing is not safe, or that you should put it back in the oven for 10 more minutes. Well. Today I was opening cans for my spaghetti sauce. My can opener tends to leave the lid attached in 2 spots, right across from each other, so you have to wiggle it back and forth and pry at least one side off to get the stuff out. Hope that made sense... So, as I was opening my can of mushrooms and fighting with the can opener I thought "I should really get a new can opener, because one of these days, I am going to cut my thumb..." Well of course I cut my thumb. And I did it well. I called my husband at work "Don't freak out, but how do you know if you need stitches?" I love starting conversations like that, but I would kill my husband if he did that to me while home with the kids... Later, after he got home, he asked me why I didn't use a knife to pry it open. "Um, I didn't want to make more dishes." And for real, every other time I've cut my thumb, it was like a papercut. But, thankfully you can buy steri strips at the drug store :)
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