(Sorry M, I'm not going to go "there," this spoon is staying in the drawer :P)
My father in law's parenting advice to my husband was this (as close as I can remember):
"Take one thing that you didn't like about how we raised you, and change it. That way, each generation will get it a little more right."
I have a LONG list of things that I want to do differently in raising my children, but I think that if I were to focus on all the negatives I might miss out on what I wanted to enjoy with my children. I think that's what my father in law was getting at. To not get caught up in all the things you think went wrong, just pick one, one that means the most, and change that. I am going to cheat and say that my way of life is to bring my children up in the church and teach them about God so that one day they will choose to accept Jesus as their Lord and Saviour.... so my "one thing" is to support my kids and be their biggest fan in life.
The history of this statement: oh boy, where to begin... I'll just fast forward to teen years, because that'll make this a little shorter lol. I lived with my mom, my dad lived in another town an hour and a half away. I think we always want out parent's approval, and to know they are proud of whatever we are doing. I was going to say we want that as kids, but I don't think we actually outgrow it, I think kids always need their parents to be proud of them... anyways... When I was in high school I was a band geek. Oh yes, it's true. But I was a darn good band geek, in a great geeky band. We were ranked (yes, they rank high school bands) in the top 2% of Canada. We may have all been geeks, but we were AWESOME. Even if we had to proclaim it ourselves... OK, back on topic... So, of course we had lots of concerts and played in festivals and all sorts of things. But my mom didn't go to more than a couple in 4 years. She told me it was because it wasn't her "thing." My Dad missed my baptism because it was too far of a drive for such a short event. My mom didn't stay to watch me graduate and my dad left as soon as the ceremony was over. Neither saw me graduate from college.
So for my kids, I am going to make every effort I can to watch every game, practice, recital, concert, performance... whatever they do. And I'm not going to just be there, but they will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am proud of them and think they are great at what they do. Don't get me wrong, I'm not aiming to be "that" mom who everyone (including her kid) wants to loose her voice and stop screaming how great her kid is, I just want my kids to see me there, with a smile on my face, and know that they are loved and adored. And I want to keep being their fan when they are grown up too.
I suppose the flip side to this advice would be to make sure you keep doing the things you loved that your parents did with you ;)
So that's just a little tid-bit from the Wagner family tree...
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