Running is Dumb

I have always hated running. I've heard runners talk about this so called "runner's high" where you get into some kind of rhythm and feel like you could run forever. Uhh, pffft, yeah, whatever. I think you need to run farther than the distance of one telephone pole to get to that, but unfortunately I am ready to kill myself by that point. I do however enjoy walking. I've never felt like I can't breathe or like I'm going to pass out or have incurred any real injury or pain from walking. Besides, you can take in a lot more beautiful scenery!
I do, however, love the idea of running. That's why I am so bitter about it all. I love the idea of being in shape and being able to just go out for a run and be ABLE to do it. Every time I see people out running I think nasty thoughts in my head because I am completely jealous. And I would absolutely LOVE to have runner's legs. Oh yeah, you know what I mean. Imagine looking at your own legs and thinking, "yup, those are some niiiice legs!" Yes, I'm vain.
So my problem with never becoming a runner had something to do with my approach. I figured that you should be able to, you know, just go out and start running. And you should just be able to make yourself do it, no stopping, just running. But then there was me, after about 50 meters I couldn't breathe anymore, cramps were starting, and I felt like I was dying. So, that was that. I quit. Running is DUMB.
In the last year I finally heard about interval training. It's kinda like running for dummies. Maybe even I could be a runner! So that's what I am trying now. Interval running. I feel like a bit of a faker still, so I haven't said I am "running" to too many people because the biggest "run" I have been on so far was this: 5 minute walk to warm up, then 1.5 minute run, 4 minute walk, 7 times. Soooo I ran for like 12 minutes! But sooo not 12 minutes. So I am doing this program with a friend and by May 2 we will be running a 5km "race." Oh, and the other thing I feel like a cheater about... apparently with all long distance running you are never supposed to just run... after a certain amount of time you should walk... like run for 8 minutes, walk for 2, then run again... I am slowly getting my mind around this, but it still feels fake to me. Because people who run, just go out and run "the loop" (in Fort), nobody stops.... but I'll get over it, because if I do make it that far I will be praising the Lord when I get to my walking time and thinking people who don't walk are nuts and probably take steroids... Because that will make me feel better.
So here we go! My shot at being one of those people running on the side of the road that I hate! So if you see me, know I am still just a faker and that you could do it too ;)